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The Exmormon Foundation is a non-profit, non-sectarian organization dedicated to supporting those in transition from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As truth-seekers, we provide balanced information to supplement the often incomplete data provided by the LDS church.
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| | President's Message - 2005-12-08
| | Posted Dec 13, 2005, at 07:05 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: Lou Wagner | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
 TOP | | Proof. What proof do you seek to demonstrate to yourself that you've done the right thing? It could be as simple as arriving at your vacation destination and knowing you followed the map right! Very nice proof. If you ended up somewhere else, you'll never use THAT online mapping tool again. Ever!
Well, a mapping program can be fixed, I suppose. But look at your beliefs. Belief systems are not necessarily static either, nor should they be. If they were, the proselyting efforts of nearly every religion on earth would be useless. No, beliefs are meant to be in a state of constant flux. On the other hand, some beliefs, once set, are less likely to be changed than others. They require greater proof and evidence.
For example, when I left Mormonism, it was because I hadn't received the promised answers to prayer. I moved on. A couple of years later, I discovered several things which "proved" I had made the right decision. It didn't change my belief but it shored it up and made it less likely that I would ever change it again. That belief, of course, is the belief that Mormonism is a fraud.
To quote a wiser man than I, "The mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original size." Oliver Wendell Holmes hit the nail right on the head. If you ever worry that you may have made a mistake leaving Mormonism, remember the reasons you left in the first place. It may have been a discovery of the Book of Abraham fraud, the Kinderhook plates fraud or the multi-layered Hoffman Scandal. You may have discovered the 14-year old "wife" of Joseph Smith or other deceptions or rationalizations related to polygamy. You may have learned of the cover-up of a sexual abuse case and the protection of a predator by Mormon leadership.
Whatever your reasons for doubting your belief, remember your proof. Take comfort in the fact that when you find such information your belief is enhanced, your mind expanded. Remember that you were right when you left since your proofs have not changed, you are still right.
Your peace of mind is worth the effort of reflecting back on such things.
Louis Wagner
President
The Exmormon Foundation
http://www.exmormonfoundation.org/
| | | | Exmormon Foundation 2005 Conference Report
| | Posted Nov 18, 2005, at 07:41 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | On Friday, October 22, 2005, at 7:30 PM, Mountain Daylight Time, the Exmormon Foundation conference began. This year, for the first time, we recorded a large portion of the conference, and are making the audio files available free-of-charge on the Internet, in the interest of supporting our core mission.
http://exmormonfoundation.org/2005Con...
| | | | Ex-Mormon Foundation President's Message
| | Posted Nov 18, 2005, at 07:40 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | Think about your Mormon loved ones for a moment or two. Do you try to get them out of Mormonism? Do you try to teach them about the fallacies of Mormonism and your reasons for leaving it? If so, why? I have little doubt if we do, it's because we truly love them and we can see the flaws of the religion to which they adhere, to say nothing of the damage it can cause them.
But I wonder: Is it always best to actively pursue another person's exit? We have a tendency to think fondly of our families who have, as a result of their rose-colored glasses, an unrealistic view of things. Bottom line is, it's fine to say we want our loved ones to leave Mormonism but are we really willing to make them suffer the transitional consequences of having done so? Remember, "The truth will set you free, but it's gonna hurt first." One of my favorite quotes. Are we willing to cause our families the pain it would cause them to discover the truth?
I love my family immensely but I look at most of them and realize that because of their unique family situations, they couldn't leave the Mormon church without a great deal of pain and suffering, not only to themselves individually but to their children and their spouses. That is enough reason for me to leave them alone. If they ever decide ON THEIR OWN that they want out, I'll be happy to support them in doing so but I believe it would be unethical for me to try to draw them out with intent.
Yet, farbeit from me to counsel you to leave your families alone. Your families are not my own and the circumstances of each individual may demand otherwise. I think it behooves us to respect their boundaries just as we demand it from them.
Having said all of that, I wholeheartedly believe that if a family member attempts to proselytize you about Mormonism, then all bets are off! If you maintain decorum and you are prepared with your answers and information, I think it's highly appropriate to have an open discussion with family and friends about why you've left Mormonism.
And remember: When you left it, you did the right thing!
Best wishes,
Louis Wagner
President
The Exmormon Foundation
http://www.exmormonfoundation.org/
| | | | President's Message, 2005-10-31
| | Posted Nov 1, 2005, at 07:02 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | Think about your Mormon loved ones for a moment or two. Do you try to get them out of Mormonism? Do you try to teach them about the fallacies of Mormonism and your reasons for leaving it? If so, why? I have little doubt if we do, it's because we truly love them and we can see the flaws of the religion to which they adhere, to say nothing of the damage it can cause them.
But I wonder: Is it always best to actively pursue another person's exit? We have a tendency to think fondly of our families who have, as a result of their rose-colored glasses, an unrealistic view of things. Bottom line is, it's fine to say we want our loved ones to leave Mormonism but are we really willing to make them suffer the transitional consequences of having done so? Remember, "The truth will set you free, but it's gonna hurt first." One of my favorite quotes. Are we willing to cause our families the pain it would cause them to discover the truth?
http://www.exmormonfoundation.org/
| | | | Ex-Mormon Foundation President's Message, 2005-09-30
| | Posted Oct 5, 2005, at 08:37 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | So, you want to live a happy life, do you? Of course you do. What's the secret you need to live a happy life?
The simple things: Take the time to smell a rose near the path you're walking. It is NOT just a cliche, trust me! If you're driving, take time to explore that little side road or that tourist trap you just passed on the freeway. Such detours are worth the time it takes for the rejuvenation it often gives.
Learning: Granted, you may learn something unpleasant. But you can still react to it positively and therefore remain happy. You don't have to be happy that you now know about some calamity but you can be happy that you have the ability to do something about it. How many of you are happy that you sent money to disaster victims? You should be.
http://www.exmormonfoundation.org/
| | | | ExMormon Foundation President's Message
| | Posted Sep 12, 2005, at 10:00 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | There are many successful people out there who habitually engage in activities which ensure their success. BTW, to me, success is not merely a reference to financial security and well-being. Success also means having healthy relationships with people, having overall happiness, overcoming the brainwashing of the cult we all know, etc.
There are many ways to have success out there and they are well-worth the effort it takes to find them. As I search for tools to use to improve my life, I often catch myself thinking, "Hey, that sounds a lot like what Mormonism used to tell us all the time!" Such thought is frequently accompanied by a compulsion to automatically reject such things. Let me give you a couple of examples.
How many of you keep a journal? You should. It's a great tool, not because Mormonism thought of it but because it's simply a valuable way to keep track of your good ideas, review your days and weeks and track your progress on your various life plans. Keep a journal and review it regularly and over time, you'll see the value of it. If you don't know how to do it the "right" way, find a website or a book in the library which will give you pointers you need.
Read good books. Yeah, I know. Mormonism gave lip service to this idea. But they also brow-beat us into reading primarily scriptures. You can only read the same thing over and over again so many times before it ceases to lose any value it has. Assuming it had any value in the first place! In this case, spread out your interests and focus on your personal development in life. Find books which will give you ideas and teach you the things you wish to know. How to build airplanes and kites. How to have better relationships with people. How to speak well. How to plan.
You probably have a comprehensive list of your own. Of course, if it's pure Mormon garbage, feel free to dismiss it entirely. But if you're getting advice and suggestions from a credible source and it sounds uncomfortably familiar, you may find it's a good idea if you strip away the baggage!
Louis Wagner
President
The Exmormon Foundation
http://exmormonfoundation.org/node/52
| | | | Exmormon Foundation Presidency
| | Posted Apr 21, 2005, at 07:49 AM. | FILED UNDER: EX-MORMON FOUNDATION
| | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: n/a | | ARCHIVED BY: Infymus | |
TOP | | The Exmormon Foundation has elected a new board and took it upon themselves to elect me to be the president of The Foundation. I'm overwhelmed and encouraged at the same time. My excitement is building more and more as I start the beginnings of work with the fine members of the board. At some point along the way, I hope to meet more and more of the members of The Foundation, either in person or on line.
I wrote the following electronic "acceptance speech" after being elected and it's posted here, with permission from Sus I/S (thank you!), as an introduction of sorts for those of you who may not know me.
Cheers!
--Wag--
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After I spent a great deal of time on this "speech" I realized it was way too long and way too boring! So, without further ado, here's the edited version which won't
take you until Christmas to slog through!
It's difficult to describe how I feel about being elected as president of The ExMormon Foundation. Many years ago, a woman walked up to me after I had given a talk in a Mormon service and told me I would be a bishop some day. She was so certain of it, I suspect she genuinely felt she was making an inspired prophecy.
Little did she know, eh?
A little about me: I've had a great deal of experience in business over the past few years. It throws me sometimes because occasionally, I catch myself making very intelligent decisions and handling exceptionally difficult situations exceptionally well.
Very nice.
As to my exmormon status, my story is on RfM and you're more than welcome to read it here: http://tinyurl.com/a6yuh. It's been quite some time since I left Mormonism behind and I feel I'm rather well recovered. In the process, I've come to believe that the ability to develop interpersonal and relationship skills are paramount to a successful recovery. My largest focus in all my associations with various exmormons has been to promote that thought process.
I'm more comfortable in my own mind and my own skin than ever before. I have a great base of mentors who I respect a great deal and who without doubt, have a genuine interest in keeping me in personal development mode. A long time ago when I needed a wake-up call I got it from a trusted mentor. He's a man upon whom I still rely for support, someone who reminds me to be responsible for myself just as we all should be. Ever have a guy who just doesn't accept or coddle your B.S. excuses? He's that guy. Looking back those many years ago, the wake-up call I got from him was just before I kicked Mormonism to the curb and I suspect that the mind-jolt he gave me was somehow related to my exit from Mormonism.
Also very nice.
Well, this is still rather long. I'll cut myself off and simply say, I anticipate a great year!
Louis Wagner
President
The Exmormon Foundation
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